How to find a therapist.

You’re here. But you might still be wondering- how do I start this therapy thing? No worries. I got you.

I want to first acknowledge that it might not have been easy for you to get here. Unfortunately, there is still stigma around mental health, particularly in the Black community and communities of color. Black and POC communities have been taught many things about seeking outside help, but foremost, not to air our “dirty laundry.” Yet, we are held to tropes, such as, “The Strong Black Woman,” or grow up in households that perpetuate the belief that expressing your emotions makes you weak, particularly if you’re a man. These, of many, harmful cultural and societal beliefs, and barriers to accessibility, speaks to the importance of de-stigmatizing mental health and how significant it is that you are seeking support now.  

First things first, when looking through online directories keep in mind that every therapist has a different level of expertise and training. Pick a therapist that specializes in the area(s) you need support in- depression, anxiety, trauma, grief and loss, parenting, etc. Most therapists offer a free consultation call, and if they do not offer one, request one. It is important to do this so that you can get a better idea of what kind of therapist they are and if it is a good fit. Check to see if they have a website (hey now!).

Before having the call, take a moment to reflect on why you are seeking therapy. What are your goals? How would you know if there has been progress made in therapy? If you have been in therapy before- what worked? What didn’t work? What do you need in the therapeutic space? There are many things to consider, but here is a list of things you might want to discuss during your consultation call:

-     Therapy goals

-     Do you offer in-person and/or teletherapy?

-     Cost (fixed, sliding scale)

-     Do you accept cash and/or insurance?

-     What do you specialize in? Have you helped others like me?

- What will we talk about? What will be the structure of the session?

 - Are your values aligned with mine? For example, anti-racist, LGBTQIA affirming, body & sex-positive etc.

-     If important, what are your lens or modalities: for example, CBT, DBT, trauma-informed, strength-based, etc.

-     Cancellation policy

It is important to remember that during the consultation call you are determining if the therapist is a good match for you, just as the therapist is determining if you are a good match for them. I would suggest scheduling consultation calls with a few different therapists and seeing where the conversation goes, what vibe feels right, and how you feel speaking with the therapist. Keep trying and keep at speaking with different therapists. Finding the right therapist can be a process. At the end of the consultation call, the therapist may invite you to schedule an initial session or suggest that you contact them to follow-up. After deciding who is your best match, during your session I encourage you to speak to your therapist about any fears, concerns, or anxieties you have about starting or continuing therapy. Be patient with the process. Engagement between yourself and your therapist may or may not be immediate, and building this important relationship takes honesty, transparency, trust, and time.

Here is my favorite comprehensive guide on this topic. I recommend you read Part 1-3 to start.

Link here:  Therapy Den: Guide to Therapy          

I wish you healing, clarity, and peace on your journey.

You got this,

M.C.S.